is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
