Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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