If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
