the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
