the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize