I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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