A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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