Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
