He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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