we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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