Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
