i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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