i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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