You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
