I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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