so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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