So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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