i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize