I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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