Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
