i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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