Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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