I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
