i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
