He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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