my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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