god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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