He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
