it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
