You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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