Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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