I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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