im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
