I want to make a zoo with you.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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