i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
