i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
pray to the hookup gods
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
