I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
