Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
