Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize