I'm going to jail i love you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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