Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
