Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
