Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Green mimosas i think yes
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
