a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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