no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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