Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
