What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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