He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
