We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
