So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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