For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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