are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
