She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
