How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
