Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
