its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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