Your tits are I can't wait for
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
