I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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