Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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