Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
