I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize