Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
