i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
