It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
