kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
